why doesn't god just send bears to keep kids in line... II Kings 2:23-24?We've all been there. You're walking along, minding your own business, when a gang of cocky, young bastards start hurling abuse at you. Most of us would just keep walking, or maybe, yell some insults back or flip them the bird. Elisha (commonly regarded as the Luke Skywalker to the Prophet Elijah's Obi-Wan Kenobi), however, decides to take it one step further. Invoking the name of God, he summons motherfucking bears to come and claw the shit out of them.
Christians are constantly asking for prayer in schools to help get today's kids in line, but we beg to differ. We need bears in schools. If every teacher had the power to summon a pair of child-maiming grizzly avengers, you can bet that schoolchildren nowadays would be the most well-behaved, polite children, ever. It's a simple choice: listen to the biology lesson, or get first-hand knowledge of the digestive system of Ursus horribilis.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html
Posted by Mikey
Who has the time to write something like this...
Posted by W r y
Church folks are tired of hearing about god's idea of justice.
God sent two bears out of the woods to maul and maim a group of kids for their disrespect to one of God's old holy ogres -- and church people are tired of us bringing it up.
.
Posted by THE GREAT ATHEISMO
he found something else more affective, catholic priests.
Posted by Milly. :)
cause God's not real.
:O
Posted by Daddy Disney
What do you got against bears?
I think bears are cool, and I think they should be left alone.
Missed your point, didn't I?
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